We set out with 40 warriors. We currently have 7. Three got seasick, two are "rethinking their priorities," and one tried to arm-wrestle a seal. We need YOU.
* Results may vary. By "results" we mean "whether you return." Offer not valid in places we've already raided to the ground.
7
Current Crew
40
Target Crew
1
Seal Arm-Wrestled
0
Regrets (yet)
Forecast the raid's odds: morale, seaworthiness, battle volume, and the inevitable loot math. It's not accurate, but it is confident.
Captain's Wisdom
"Click the button. What's the worst that could happen?"
Awaiting prediction...
Awaiting prediction...
Awaiting prediction...
Awaiting prediction...
Algorithm based on ancient Nordic astrology, vibes, and one very confident guess.
Sign something legally meaningless, then watch the captain take most of the profits. Tradition matters.
Write your name. Accept your fate. Pretend it's binding.
Oath (Definitely Real)
By signing, you agree the captain is always right, especially when he isn't.
A scientific model that always favors the captain. For realism.
Includes coins, trinkets, suspicious butter, and at least one cursed spoon.
More crew = less loot. Unless you're the captain.
Your Share
things
Captain's Share
things
A fair split is a myth, like sea serpents and honest accountants.
These are the people you'll be trapped on a small boat with for six months.
We're legally required to answer these. The definition of "legally" is loose here.
That means you're at least 14% interested. In our books, that's basically a signed oath.
We depart at dawn. Or Tuesday. Depends on the tides and whether Bjorn remembers where he parked the ship.
Fine, I'll Join